Divorce is never a pretty term, no matter how it is used. And for the most part, the process itself can be very emotional and challenging. As one of the divorce mediators in Las Vegas, I know. Even with divorce stats being as high as they are, it doesn’t make it any easier. But not all divorces are the same. Some are more reasonable than others, in a manner of speaking, and in these situations, mediation is usually the best way to approach it. But what is divorce mediation and how does it work?
Understanding Divorce Mediation
When you hear somebody is getting divorced, you automatically expect them to sit at the opposite ends of the table and fight for what they believe rightfully belongs to them. And yes, in many cases this is exactly what happens. But not all couples who separate are merely focused on getting the most out of what is left. Not all couples become self-absorbed and use the divorce as a weapon. And for couples who can still be in a room without fighting, mediation should definitely be the first option.
When couples mediate, they agree to sit down and discuss things on a civil basis. They prefer to avoid unnecessary confrontation between the lawyers, and they prefer not to involve a court setting.
Essentially, the people getting divorced can mutually agree on what should happen and who gets what, without turning it into a complicated matter. But it’s not just the people getting divorced in the room. They can insist on having their lawyer present, and they can look to a judge to appoint an objective third party, who can sit down with the couple and make sure everything happens smoothly.
Alternatively, the couple can leave the lawyers out of it altogether and they can decide who should be the mediator (if they can come to an agreement). However, if you are the one getting a divorce, and your partner already has a lawyer, it’s recommended to do the same. Even if you are going to mediation, you want to be prepared.
Why Is Mediation Better?
Mediation is better than a full-on divorce case where the lawyers hack it out against each other. Everyone can agree that this has never been a very effective way of handling a divorce, which is why mediation should be considered first.
But it’s not just about avoiding a fight that won’t really solve anything. If there are children involved, mediation has to be on the table. Because the children who have to sit through a divorce where their parents are simply out to get revenge are typically used as “weapons” as well.
With mediation, this is not going to be the case. For starters, you are taking the healthy step and you realize that a calm discussion with a fair mediator can make it easier on the kids. But remember, there has to be a give-and-take attitude from both parties. If you both agreed to mediation, it shows you are in a place to talk things out and the separation process won’t be nearly as ugly. In fact, a tough divorce case where nobody agrees to anything only makes things worse. Additionally, you’ll be saving a lot of money.
A Final Thought
For people who have tried everything to make the marriage work but only find divorce to be the solution, you owe it to yourself to discuss mediation as supposed to putting on your boxing gloves and getting ready for a fight.
If there’s a calm and better way to go your separate ways, doesn’t it make more sense to use it?